Saturday, September 21, 2013

Living and Loving After a Betrayal by Steven Stosny PHD


Betrayal has many faces, including anger, abuse, deceit, and infidelity. These feel like betrayal because they violate the implicit promise of emotional bonds, that your loved one will care about your well being and never intentionally hurt you. If you’ve recently left a relationship where you felt betrayed by your partner, you may have difficulty moving on. In fact, it can seem impossible to view the world without the shadow of past betrayal hovering over you. As a result, you may struggle to create meaning in your life and build new, loving relationships.

In Living and Loving after Betrayal, therapist and relationship expert Steven Stosny offers effective tools for healing, based on his highly successful CompassionPower program. He founded the CompassionPower agency on the belief that we are more powerful when compassionate than when angry or aggressive, and that true strength comes from relating compassionately to others and remaining true to your deeper values. In this book, you’ll learn practical strategies for overcoming betrayal-induced trauma and the chronic resentment and depression that result, using this innovative compassion-empowerment approach.

Most books on betrayal only focus on the obvious issues, such as infidelity, abuse, or sex addiction. This book explores the effects of those kinds of betrayal, as well as less-talked-about types, such as emotional manipulation, dishonesty, deceit, and financial cheating. In addition, the book helps you regain a sense of trust in others so that you can eventually find another compassionate person to share your life with or, if you choose, to rebuild a relationship with your reformed betrayer.

Recovering from the betrayal of partner isn’t easy, but Living and Loving after Betrayal offers potent ways to heal, grow, and love again.
Betrayal has many faces, including anger, abuse, deceit, and infidelity. These feel like betrayal because they violate the implicit promise of emotional bonds, that your loved one will care about your well being and never intentionally hurt you. If you’ve recently left a relationship where you felt betrayed by your partner, you may have difficulty moving on. In fact, it can seem impossible to view the world without the shadow of past betrayal hovering over you. As a result, you may struggle to create meaning in your life and build new, loving relationships.

In Living and Loving after Betrayal, therapist and relationship expert Steven Stosny offers effective tools for healing, based on his highly successful CompassionPower program. He founded the CompassionPower agency on the belief that we are more powerful when compassionate than when angry or aggressive, and that true strength comes from relating compassionately to others and remaining true to your deeper values. In this book, you’ll learn practical strategies for overcoming betrayal-induced trauma and the chronic resentment and depression that result, using this innovative compassion-empowerment approach.

Most books on betrayal only focus on the obvious issues, such as infidelity, abuse, or sex addiction. This book explores the effects of those kinds of betrayal, as well as less-talked-about types, such as emotional manipulation, dishonesty, deceit, and financial cheating. In addition, the book helps you regain a sense of trust in others so that you can eventually find another compassionate person to share your life with or, if you choose, to rebuild a relationship with your reformed betrayer.

Recovering from the betrayal of partner isn’t easy, but Living and Loving after Betrayal offers potent ways to heal, grow, and love again.
Betrayal has many faces, including anger, abuse, deceit, and infidelity. These feel like betrayal because they violate the implicit promise of emotional bonds, that your loved one will care about your well being and never intentionally hurt you. If you’ve recently left a relationship where you felt betrayed by your partner, you may have difficulty moving on. In fact, it can seem impossible to view the world without the shadow of past betrayal hovering over you. As a result, you may struggle to create meaning in your life and build new, loving relationships.

In Living and Loving after Betrayal, therapist and relationship expert Steven Stosny offers effective tools for healing, based on his highly successful CompassionPower program. He founded the CompassionPower agency on the belief that we are more powerful when compassionate than when angry or aggressive, and that true strength comes from relating compassionately to others and remaining true to your deeper values. In this book, you’ll learn practical strategies for overcoming betrayal-induced trauma and the chronic resentment and depression that result, using this innovative compassion-empowerment approach.

Most books on betrayal only focus on the obvious issues, such as infidelity, abuse, or sex addiction. This book explores the effects of those kinds of betrayal, as well as less-talked-about types, such as emotional manipulation, dishonesty, deceit, and financial cheating. In addition, the book helps you regain a sense of trust in others so that you can eventually find another compassionate person to share your life with or, if you choose, to rebuild a relationship with your reformed betrayer.

Recovering from the betrayal of partner isn’t easy, but Living and Loving after Betrayal offers potent ways to heal, grow, and love again.


My Review: 

Parts of this book really drove home for me. When the author speaks of delayed recognition of the betrayal you have suffered because of your bond to protect your children and yourself I could see my past circumstances come to light. How so easily (or not so easily) I ignored what I knew in my mind and downplayed the extent of the betrayal to try and keep my children protected from what was really going on. My security and theirs was about to be shattered and the betrayal that was ongoing for several years was being brought closer to the light as I was unable to ignore it or downplay it any longer. I was plagued with self doubt on how to handle the situation in a biblical way. The author nailed it down though of what I was feeling-out of control and powerless in the situation. I could not make him behave the way I wanted or the way God wanted, we all just suffered the consequences with him. I felt cheated and survival mode kicked in.  Chapter one is all about survival and coming to grips with the betrayal and your role in it.  When we are betrayed we need to feel empowered again and we need to feel valued, loved and worthy. That comes from a dependent relationship with Christ.
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