Thursday, February 21, 2013

Building Christian Character in Kids

Do you want your children to mature into young men and women whose integrity makes them shine like stars? Do you want your kids to have great character — but you don't know how to help them become all that both you (and God) desire?

Remember little eyes are watching, so model by example

This is an excellent list of godly character qualities to use as you prayerfully
shepherd the hearts of your children to Christlikeness. These character qualities are a reflection of the regenerate heart and spirit. A new person being formed by God.  So as you see deficiency in your children we must point them to Christ for forgiveness and growth in grace. We want our children to realize that external character, obedience without a new heart is nothing but a works righteousness and legalism.

49 Godly Character Qualities

  1. Alertness vs.  Unawareness
    Being aware of that which is taking place around me so I  can have the right response to it (Mark 14:38)
  2. Attentiveness vs.  Unconcern
    Showing the worth of a person by giving undivided  attention to his words and emotions (Hebrews 2:1)
  3. Availability vs.  Self-centeredness
    Making my own schedule and priorities secondary to the  wishes of those I am serving (Philippians 2:20–21)
  4. Boldness vs.  Fearfulness
    Confidence that what I have to say or do is true and right  and just in the sight of God (Acts 4:29)
  5. Cautiousness vs.  Rashness
    Knowing how important right timing is in accomplishing  right actions (Proverbs 19:2)
  6. Compassion vs.  Indifference
    Investing whatever is necessary to heal the hurts of  others (I John 3:17)
  7. Contentment vs.  Covetousness
    Realizing that God has provided everything I need for my  present happiness (I Timothy 6:8)
  8. Creativity vs.  Underachievement
    Approaching a need, a task, an idea from a new perspective  (Romans 12:2)
  9. Decisiveness vs.  Double-mindedness
    The ability to finalize difficult decisions based on the  will and ways of God (James 1:5)
  10. Deference vs.  Rudeness
    Limiting my freedom in order not offend the tastes of  those whom God has called me to serve (Romans 14:21)
  11. Dependability vs.  Inconsistency
    Fulfilling what I consented to do even if it means  unexpected sacrifice (Psalm 15:4)
  12. Determination vs.  Faintheartedness
    Purposing to accomplish God’s goals in God’s time  regardless of the opposition (II Timothy 4:7–8)
  13. Dligence vs.  Slothfulness
    Visualizing each task as a special assignment from the  Lord and using all my energies to accomplish it (Colossians 3:23)
  14. Discernment vs.  Judgment
    The God-given ability to understand why things happen (I Samuel 16:7)
  15. Discretion vs.  Simplemindedness
    The ability to avoid words, actions, and attitudes which  could result in undesirable consequences (Proverbs 22:3)
  16. Endurance vs.  Giving up
    The inward strength to withstand stress to accomplish  God’s best (Galatians 6:9)
  17. Enthusiasm vs.  Apathy
    Expressing with my soul the joy of my spirit (I Thessalonians 5:16,19)
  18. Faith vs.  Presumption
    Visualizing what God intends to do in a given situation  and acting in harmony with it (Hebrews 11:1)
  19. Flexibility vs.  Resistance
    Not setting my affections on ideas or plans which could be  changed by God or others (Colossians 3:2)
  20. Forgiveness vs.  Rejection
    Clearing the record of those who have wronged me and  allowing God to love them through me (Ephesians 4:32)
  21. Generosity vs.  Stinginess
    Realizing that all I have belongs to God and using it for  His purposes (II Corinthians 9:6)
  22. Gentleness vs.  Harshness
    Showing personal care and concern in meeting the need of  others (I Thessalonians 2:7)
  23. Gratefulness vs.  Unthankfulness
    Making known to God and others in what ways they have  benefited my life (I Corinthians 4:7)
  24. Hospitality vs.  Loneliness
    Cheerfully sharing food, shelter, and spiritual  refreshment with those whom God brings into my life (Hebrews 13:2)
  25. Humility vs.  Pride
    Recognizing that it is actually God and others who are  responsible for the achievements in my life (James 4:6)
  26. Initiative vs.  Unresponsiveness
    Recognizing and doing what needs to be done before I am  asked to do it (Romans 12:21)
  27. Joyfulness vs.  Self-pity
    The spontaneous enthusiasm of my spirit when my soul is in  fellowship with the Lord (Psalm 16:11)
  28. Justice vs.  Fairness
    Personal responsibility to God’s unchanging laws (Micah 6:8)
  29. Love vs.  Selfishness
    Giving to others’ basic needs without having as my motive  personal reward (I Corinthians 13:3)
  30. Loyalty vs.  Unfaithfulness
    Using difficult times to demonstrate my commitment to God  and to those whom He has called me to serve (John 15:13)
  31. Meekness vs.  Anger
    Yielding my personal rights and expectations to God (Psalm 62:5)
  32. Obedience vs.  Willfulness
    Freedom to be creative under the protection of divinely  appointed authority (II Corinthians 10:5)
  33. Orderliness vs.  Disorganization
    Preparing myself and my surroundings so I will achieve the  greatest efficiency (I Corinthians 14:40)
  34. Patience vs.  Restlessness
    Accepting a difficult situation from God without giving  Him a deadline to remove it (Romans 5:3–4)
  35. Persuasiveness vs.  Contentiousness
    Guiding vital truths around another’s mental roadblocks (II Timothy 2:24)
  36. Punctuality vs.  Tardiness
    Showing high esteem for other people and their time (Ecclesiastes 3:1)
  37. Resourcefulness vs.  Wastefulness
    Wise use of that which others would normally overlook or  discard (Luke 16:10)
  38. Responsibility vs.  Unreliability
    Knowing and doing what both God and others are expecting  from me (Romans 14:12)
  39. Reverence vs.  Disrespect
    Awareness of how God is working through the people and  events in my life to produce the character of Christ in me (Proverbs 23:17–18)
  40. Security vs.  Anxiety
    Structuring my life around that which is eternal and  cannot be destroyed or taken away (John 6:27)
  41. Self-Control vs.  Self-indulgence
    Instant obedience to the initial promptings of God’s  Spirit (Galatians 5:24–25)
  42. Sensitivity vs.  Callousness
    Exercising my senses so I can perceive the true spirit and  emotions of those around me (Romans 12:15)
  43. Sincerity vs.  Hypocrisy
    Eagerness to do what is right with transparent motives (I Peter 1:22)
  44. Thoroughness vs.  Incompleteness
    Knowing what factors will diminish the effectiveness of my  work or words if neglected (Proverbs 18:15)
  45. Thriftiness vs.  Extravagance
    Not letting myself or others spend that which is not  necessary (Luke 16:11)
  46. Tolerance vs.  Prejudice
    Acceptance of others as unique expressions of specific  character qualities in varying degrees of maturity (Philippians 2:2)
  47. Truthfulness vs.  Deception
    Earning future trust by accurately reporting past facts (Ephesians 4:25)
  48. Virtue vs.  Impurity
    The moral excellence and purity of spirit that radiate  from my life as I obey God’s Word (II Peter 1:3)
  49. Wisdom vs.  Natural Inclinations
    Seeing and responding to life’s situations from God’s  frame of reference (Proverbs 9:10)
As parents, we must responsibly act on the authority that has been given to us. We are accountable to God for the proper discipline of our children. These are signs that indicate my child is not learning good character traits. They signal that I am losing control or not in authority in my home.

1. My child whines, cries, pouts when I say “no” to him.
2. I find myself reluctant to ask my child to help with any tasks because of his negative reaction and inability to complete a job. He usually responds by whining or answers, “I can’t…, “I don’t want to.”
3. There is an excessive amount of noise and confusion in my house: children bickering, crying, hitting, rough behavior with furniture, toys, screaming, etc.
4. I am unable to leave anything of personal value or foods snacks within my child’s reach.
5. I am unable to leave my child (aged 3 or above) out of my sight or unattended in another room for any period of time without being worried what he is up to.
6. I am embarrassed or afraid to take my child to other homes because he is so active (boisterous, silliness, fidgeting, knocking things over, touching everything).
7. My child is unable to sit quietly for any length of time in a place I specify.
8. Going shopping is a fiasco because my children run through the clothes racks or touch everything in the store or run away from me.
9. My child has a “smart mouth” (yells, uses abusive language, swears at me) or hits me.
10. My child throws tantrums, refuses to eat or do things he is asked to do.
11. My child takes things without asking, rummages through our drawers and cupboards.
12. My child does not come when called or respond to my voice from another room.
13. When I ask my child to do something I always have to explain “why,” first.
14. Most of my child’s toys are broken and he rarely puts any away, outdoors or indoors.
15. My child avoids doing what I ask by using flattering words, changing the subject or doing some other good deed instead.
16. My child gets my attention with loud, disrespectful demands. Example: “Hey, Mom! Get the … for me!” “I want…!” “Mom, come here!”
17. I find myself saying, “I can’t do that because Suzie won’t let me,” or “I can’t get Johnny to do that …”
18. When I discipline my child he pouts, responds in anger, or screams, or throws himself on the floor, slams doors, prolongs his crying, coughs, gags (or attempts to vomit).
19. As I talk on the phone or chat with others, my child constantly interrupts or acts naughty, demanding attention.
20. My child is constantly bored, discontent and looking for entertainment; wanting to play, he grumbles at his work.
21. I am ready to pull my hair out. My child drives me crazy. I am so worn out all the time that I can hardly wait to break from him at every opportunity.

A Note to Parents: How sharp is your Scripture memory? Can you think of a verse dealing with each of the above? These are examples of poor character qualities which are spoken of especially in the Proverbs.____________________________________
1/ “The Little Book of Christian Character and Manners,” William and Colleen Dedrick, Christian Tutorial Books, [Holly Hall Publications] 1992, pp. 63, 64
2/ TheologyGirl, Editor & Publisher, “Heavenly Notes,” ReformedWomen, from the original JoyPals/ReformedWomen study “Children of the Living God, Discipline of Children/Training in Righteousness,” Copyright 1997-2006, All Rights Reserved

Resources on Building Godly Character

No comments: