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As
the parent of two teenagers (and one that will be there way too fast), I know
how important music is in the lives of young people today. Whenever my
teenage daughter enters her room, she immediately turns on the stereo. And
whenever I drive her anywhere, she wants to change the radio to her favorite
station.
I also know how today's music can grate on adult ears. It's not just the
volume or style; it's the words. The vulgarity, the message, the symbolism,
etc. When we understand them, we are shocked that those kinds of messages are
being broadcast to our sons and daughters.
One way to respond would be to ban music from the house altogether. Although
that may be effective at cutting background noise, it really is not a good
solution! Another response would be to come to some sort of compromise with
your teen, explaining that he or she may listen to certain stations and
artists but not others. That would actually be a very positive and helpful
step--but it's still merely the treatment of a symptom and not the problem.
We must go deeper.
Contemporary music analyst Al Menconi suggests that we look at today's music
as a window to the souls of our children. First of all he reminds us that
"the key to winning this battle lies in understanding how personal this
music is; it goes right for our kids' hearts. Their music can reveal inner
struggles and needs; it can reveal the spiritual and moral health of a child;
it can reflect doubts and fears, and even spotlight the happy places in their
lives. Knowing this to be true, we can use the music to our advantage. It can
help us get to those deeper places in our children's spiritual lives where
real ministry can take place."
In other words, we should listen carefully to what our kids are listening to
and use their music as a clue--not as a club. Menconi continues: "In
coming to understand that music yields important clues to our kids' spiritual
and emotional needs, parents can concentrate their efforts on meeting those
needs. We don't have to put so much energy into wrestling with the music
monster."
This means that we should ask our children deeper questions, and their music
can help us know what their needs are. Our kids have questions about love,
identity, friendship, and the future--and they want answers. When we know their
questions and their needs, we can begin to meet those needs with prayer and
answers from God's Word.
Is this an easy task-No. I still ban certain
bands from being played in my home. Some due to the vulgar language they use,
some due to Anti-Christian sentiment messages they are very blunt
about and sometimes it is due to the person-how they dress, the videos they
make- their personal vulgarity. I do try and compromise with
"edited" versions of some bands, but it is a constant struggle for
us all.
All this to say let's listen to the music together.
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