Thursday, January 16, 2014

The Search


Title: The Search
Genre: Family Relationship/Parenting
Author: Titia Ellis, PhD
Publisher: iUniverse
Pages: 232
Language: English

 “A compelling story of an adopted woman’s search for her truth and a mother lost, found, and lost again. The Search is a poignant memoir of the reality of an adoptee’s life. I couldn’t put it down.” JOE SOLL, LCSW, PSYCHOTHERAPIST, AUTHOR OF ADOPTION HEALING…A PATH TO RECOVERY

Titia Ellis remembers the exact moment her life changed forever. Her mother, still in her dressing gown, sat in the chair opposite five-year-old Titia and her older sister, twisting a handkerchief between her hands, while her father paced the floor behind her. Titia’s stomach rolled over as her mother announced, “Daddy and I want to tell you something important about when you were born.”

As soon as she learns the story of her birth parents’ untimely deaths and her subsequent adoption, Titia realizes that her adoption is to be kept a secret—never to be discussed again out of fear of upsetting her mother. Wanting to be loved and to fit in, she obeys her parents’ wishes—until a mid-life crisis shatters her illusion of being the perfect daughter, wife, and mother. As Titia chronicles her poignant journey to find her birth mother, she details how she jeopardizes her relationship with her adoptive parents and threatens the privacy of unsuspecting strangers—all without any guarantee of a happy outcome. When Titia embarks on her quest to find her birth family, she immerses herself deep into her past, not knowing that what she discovers in the end will transform her entire life.

~My Impressions~
I loved this Memoir. Incredibly personal story shared so powerfully I could not put it down. I know several children that are adopted and each family has struggled with if and when its appropriate to share the specifics of the adoption with their children. I know families who have chosen to keep the fact their children area adopted a secret from them and other that are straight forward about it. Either way it is a tremendous weight to carry for all involved. Children search for who they are and they feel rooted in their family, when that is shaken so many things can go wrong. Ellis draws you into her story, the turmoil she faced and the struggles she went through both emotionally and physically. Ellis is remains transparent through the whole memoir describing in detail the struggles, pain, rejection and loneliness she felt, despite being loved. This is simply a very elegant and beautiful story that I cannot recommend enough to anyone that has been adopted, thinking about adopting or are the parents and friends of adopted children. Really powerful and eyeopening story and I thank Titia for sharing this part of her life with the world.

~About the Author~

Born in New York City, Titia Ellis was adopted and then raised outside of Chicago. Trained as a psychologist, she maintained a family therapy practice for many years. Titia and her husband, Bill, founded the All One Family Fund in 2008 to help children at risk. They live in Vermont and delight in visits with their three children and nine grandchildren.

*Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Pumpupyourbooks. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising." 

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