Saturday, December 6, 2014

What I Love About Delaney-November




I adore this little daily ritual or habit we have...We have a new habit right now. Its called body check! Every day I have to gt up and search you from head to toe to make sure you are not harming yourself. I have to make sure you are taking your medication as you are suppose to. Check and make sure you are journaling (don't read it just make sure you are writing), and then we get started talking about our feelings, what we can do different today to make it a good one, etc. You have your days when you love it and hate it. The days when you grumble, complain about lack of trust and down right throw a little fit. Then we have the days when you gladly take part, happy I care enough to keep doing this and are open. Its literally a day to day process we are all working through. 
 
Scripture Verse.. Psalms 107:19-21 " Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave. Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men."

 
Favorite Photo...
Favorite Things We Did...Prayed. That's it and it was enough. My daughter who feels further away from the Lord than she ever has, prayed. I dont know what you prayed for and I don't need to know. Just the fact that you allowed God to pierce your heart, even for one day, and opened yourself up to Him, shows me you have not given up, but are walking slowly through your pain and the Lord is walking with you. 
 
One of your most irresistible physical features is..your smile. I have not seen it in a while, but on rare moments I get glimpses of it and know that one day it will return.
I missed you when....You try so hard to put this brave front on and act like nothing is bothering you, but your eyes give you away. That far away look, the lack of luster and brightness they use to hold. They hold the shell of my daughter trapped inside her own mind of persecution. I long to see that brightness return. The glint of joy. The  radiance of life shining through them again. 
5 Words/Phrases that come to mind when I think about you: afraid, broken, hopeful, vulnerable, dependent. Sometimes I forget how dependent and broken you really are. How you try and cover up your real heart and feelings with sarcasm, fake smiles and transparent words. Then I get a glimpse of you and I see how small and fragile you really are. How hopeful and broken you are and how much pain and turmoil you are in. You stay locked inside your head and refuse to share what you really feel out of shame, brokenness, and fear of being judged and rejected.No amount of words or tears could express how painful this is for a mother to go through with her only daughter. To know she is hurting and torn apart and not to be able to reach her and pull her from the despair. 
Some of our favorite songs we both love...
Eric Paslay, ‘She Don’t Love You’


Tyler Farr, ‘A Guy Walks Into a Bar’
Eric Paslay, ‘She Don’t Love You’

Billy Currington, ‘Don’t It’

Randy Houser, ‘Like a Cowboy’
Katy Perry: Dark Horse
Sam Smith: Stay With Me
Maroon 5: Maps
Taylor Swift: Shake It Off
Meghan Trainor: All About That Bass
Maroon 5: Animals
 

Tyler Farr, ‘A Guy Walks Into a Bar’

Read More: Top 40 Country Songs - November 2014 | http://tasteofcountry.com/top-40-country-songs-november-2014/?trackback=tsmclip

Tyler Farr, ‘A Guy Walks Into a Bar’

Read More: Top 40 Country Songs - November 2014 | http://tasteofcountry.com/top-40-country-songs-november-2014/?trackback=tsmclip
Tyler Farr, ‘A Guy Walks Into a Bar’

Read More: Top 40 Country Songs - November 2014 | http://tasteofcountry.com/top-40-country-songs-november-2014/?trackback=tsmclip
Tyler Farr, ‘A Guy Walks Into a Bar’

Read More: Top 40 Country Songs - November 2014 | http://tasteofcountry.com/top-40-country-songs-november-2014/?trackback=tsmclip
Special Occasions... Of course Thanksgiving makes the cut here. What is not to love about a holiday when your uncle does all the cooking and we get to just hang out and relax with the rest of the clan? Plus this month you hung out at my work alot. This was also a very hard month for you. You spent the first couple of weeks healing at Children's and then in an rehab facility, but finally by the middle of November you were back home! The rest of November we spent traveling around the state of Texas. We went to Austin, San Antonio, San Marcus, Houston, Wichita Falls and a few other places while I followed up on new job leads and looked at homes. It mad for a fun road trip with lots of hotels, pools and interesting historical sites to visit.  We were both disappointed that Sea World was closed down and so were all the Zip Lines :( Other than that we hung out, watched movies, worked through your healing process and just enjoyed having you back home after a hellish month!
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